


I’ve got so much love in my heart

by pepi



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky is an amazing boyfriend, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 12:02:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3446435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepi/pseuds/pepi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve loved Bucky, with all his heart, had loved him since he was 14 years old. But still, somehow, here he was, slowly falling for Sam. And Bucky knew…</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’ve got so much love in my heart

**Author's Note:**

> I still do not have a beta. And English miraculously is still not my first language.  
> (Titel from the song “I’ve got love” by The King Blues)

“You ever gonna tell him?”  
Confused Steve looked away from Sam and back to Bucky. He realized he probably had been staring at Sam again. But it was hard not to when the other man was sitting at the other end of the room, laughing with Natasha.  
“Tell him what?”  
Bucky smiled down at Steve who had his head resting on Bucky’s lap.  
“That you like him, of course!”  
Steve’s confusion increased and he could feel his forehead wrinkle up.  
“He knows that I like him.”  
Now Bucky was chuckling while he stroke over Steve’s forehead with his right hand, making Steve relax his face muscles again.  
“Well, he knows that you like him. But he probably does not know that you like like him.”  
With a sudden jolt, Steve sat up and starred at Bucky in shock.  
“Bucky!!! I don’t…. I… You know I love you! I would never… I could never…”  
Bucky still smiled at him and pulled him closer so Steve was leaning against Bucky, Bucky’s arm thrown over his shoulder, Steve’s head resting on Bucky’s shoulder.  
“I know that you love me, don’t worry. But I also know that your heart is big enough to hold love for more than just me. Namely; Sam.”  
Steve didn’t know what to say to that. Because the thing was: Bucky was right! Steve loved Bucky, with all his heart, had loved him since he was 14 years old. But still, somehow, here he was, slowly falling for Sam. Beautiful, strong, amazing Sam.  
“Bucky…”  
It was almost like a sob, because Steve felt like crying. He loved Bucky so damn much and still… He loved Sam as well.  
“Oh Stevie…”  
Bucky took Steve’s hand in his metal one, stroking his thumb over it repeatedly.  
“I’m sorry. I… I would never. You have to believe me.”  
There now really where tears in Steve’s eyes. He couldn’t believe he managed to hurt Bucky. He couldn’t fight his feelings, he knew that, but he could at least make sure Bucky knew Steve would never act on those feelings, would never cheat on Bucky. Never!  
“I do, Steve, I do. It’s just… I have seen you stare at him for some time now…”  
Oh god, Bucky had known for some time? Steve had been hurting him for some time…  
“Bucky, I…”  
But Bucky shook his head.  
“Shhh... Let me talk. I have seen you stare at him, I know that look. It’s the same look you had for Peggy.”  
Oh god, no. This was not happening! With all the things Bucky still couldn’t remember, he had to remember Peggy, and the way Steve felt for her.  
“Bucky, I never did…”  
“Will you just shut up and let me talk?”  
Now Bucky finally sounded a bit mad. Steve had been waiting for that. It felt better than the arm around his shoulder and the fingers stroking his hand, because it felt right, like he deserved it. He did not deserve Bucky to be so fucking nice about this whole thing.  
“Sorry…”  
“No no no. I’m not mad at you for liking them! I could never be mad at you for having so much love in you. Not when it’s directed at amazing people like Peggy and Sam. So what I was trying to say: You should talk to him, see how he feels about you. You are pining away over him when maybe there is a chance for you to actually be with him.”  
Silence followed this statement. Steve didn’t know how to react to that. It almost sounded like… Like Bucky would be okay with him liking Sam as well. But he couldn’t believe that. He could never do that to Bucky.  
“Am I allowed to speak again now?”  
Bucky chuckled. He fucking chuckled. Who chuckles when they are talking about their partner liking another person?  
“Yes you little shit.”  
Steve took a deep breath before he started his short rant.  
“I will NOT talk to Sam. It’s bad enough you have to see me staring at him! I will stop it, I will. And I will also stop seeing him alone, like going for a run or coffee or…”  
Bucky stopped him with a huff and sat up straight, finally looking at Steve. And all Steve could see was love.  
“Where you even listening to me? I WANT you to talk to him. I want you to date him!”  
Still, Steve shook his head.  
“No Bucky, I love you! I could never… I… No!”  
Bucky smiled at him, it was a strange kind of smile. Fond, but also like he still couldn’t believe what an idiot Steve really was.  
“Listen, Steve. I’m not trying to make you do something you don’t want to, but just… I would be okay with it! And I’m not just saying it and then be mad at you for doing it. I love you and I know you love me. Our love for each other is a fact like the fact that the sun is hot. You walked into a Nazi-Camp to get me back, alone, and I walked right after you into the next camp. Our love for each other broke years of brainwashing! If that’s not love then I don’t know what is. But I also know you have the biggest heart a man could ever have, and there is room for more than just me in there. And you love Sam, I know you do. Just… think about it, okay? I really would be okay with it. I… I actually read about it, it’s called polyamorous and it’s not as uncommon as you might think. People can love more than just one person…”  
And suddenly it hit Steve: Bucky really meant what he was saying! Bucky knew Steve loved him. But he also knew Steve loved Sam, and he really was okay with it, he even did research on the subject.  
“I read about it as well… I just… Bucky I’m happy with you, more than just happy. I… I don’t want to risk that. I. Yes, I like Sam. But having you here, being able to love you and have you love me back is more than enough for me. I don’t… I don’t need Sam.”  
And there was the fond ‘you are an idiot’ smile again.  
“Hmmm. You might not need him and I know we are happy the way we are. But wouldn’t being with Sam make you happy as well?”  
Shyly Steve nodded.  
“It… Yes it probably would.”  
Bucky took Steve’s hands in his and kissed his knuckles softly.  
“Well, there you go. When you are ready; go talk to him. And if he is interested, we three are going to make it work. With honesty and stuff…”  
Steve nodded and smiled at Bucky. But there was still something he needed to get of his chest.  
“Thank you Buck. And… sorry for not telling you, I know I promised you to always be honest with you… But. I never thought to pursue this and I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you I love another man.”  
Bucky pulled him closer again and they cuddled into the couch.  
“It’s okay. I understand. But now that we have had this first discussion I want you to know you can always talk to me about the other people you love!”  
“Love you Buck.”  
“Love you too Stevie. And he does look amazing when he laughs like that.”  
“Bucky!”  
“What? Not ready to talk about your hot crush with your hot boyfriend.”  
“No… Not yet…”  
____________

When Steve opened the door to their apartment with a sigh, he could see Bucky sitting on their couch, grinning at him.  
“How was your date? Oh…”  
The second Bucky saw Steve’s face, his grin faded and he got off the couch.  
“He… He doesn’t feel the same way about me…”  
Steve felt like crying as he watched Bucky coming closer and finally wrapping him in a strong hug.  
“Oh darling. I’m so sorry.”  
And that was it; Steve couldn’t stop the sob from escaping his throat while clinging to Bucky.  
“How pathetic is this? I’m in the arms of the love of my life, crying over another man. This is just…”  
Bucky shushed him and stroke his back while he spoke in a low and soothing voice.  
“This is you, that’s what it is. And it’s not pathetic. It’s love and it wonderful and beautiful and it hurts.”  
Yes, Steve hurt. But he also felt so good in Bucky’s arms, in Bucky’s presence. He was going through a rollercoaster of emotions. It was all so very confusing.  
“I just… You make me so happy and still I’m so sad about… Sam…”  
“It’s okay. Really, it is. I understand.”  
Steve knew Bucky was being honest. He really was okay with holding Steve while he cried over another man and this just made Steve love him even more, and cry more. God, where were all this tears coming from?  
“You’re probably glad it turned out this way…”  
Bucky’s arms tightened almost painfully around him.  
“Steven Grant Rogers!”  
Uh, Bucky was pissed. He only ever used Steve’s full name when he was really pissed at Steve for being an idiot.  
“Don’t you dare even think that! I’m heartbroken for you! You hurt, so I hurt! I didn’t just say all that stuff because I wanted to be a cool boyfriend who is okay with his boyfriend dating another guy! I honestly wanted you to be happy with him as well. And don’t you dare question my honesty regarding this topic ever again!”  
Bucky’s grip loosened a bit and he took Steve’s face in his right hand, making Steve look at him.  
“You got that?”  
Steve nodded. He could still feel tears running down his cheeks, but he also could fight back a small smile.  
“Sorry Buck. Thank you. I just… I love you so much!”  
Bucky returned his smile and kissed his nose.  
“Love you too. Want me to make you some hot chocolate?”  
Oh god, how did he ever deserve this man.  
“I… That would be nice, yes.”  
With one last kiss to Steve’s lips Bucky let go of Steve and turned toward the kitchen.  
“Be right back.”  
For a moment, Steve stayed where he was, just staring at the point where Bucky had vanished into the kitchen. But then he got moving, following Bucky into the kitchen and watching him.  
“Bucky?”  
The other man turned around, still smiling at Steve.  
“You know… I will be sad and a bit hurt for some time… But, I’m happy, with you… That… Please don’t get my sadness mixed up with our happiness. Okay?”  
Bucky put down the mugs he was holding and was right in front of Steve again with just two steps.  
“I know. It’s okay.”  
This time it was Steve who pulled Bucky into a tight hug.  
“Love you.”  
“Love you too.”  
“You still have the biggest part of my heart. You know that, right?”  
“Yes, I know that. Now let go of me so I can make hot chocolate for my heartbroken boyfriend.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Comments (good and bad!) and Kudos are welcome.


End file.
